It’s not generally polite to say, but come on… I am super sorry that there’s a family out there that has experienced the loss of a loved one. Let alone the fact that the girl was 19 and she was raped and murdered.
But here’s the thing… did we forget that she went out drinking with some frat guys and decided to crash out on someone’s couch! 19. NINE TEEN. And she was drinking. AND she passed out on a couch. And then she was abducted, at least that’s what they speculate because no one saw anything. They found dried blood on the pillow of the couch where she had been last seen.
So, do you see my point? or my angle? or what bothers me? Again I am sorry that someone out there had to feel the loss of a young one loved one. But really, would this have happened to her had she NOT GONE OUT AND DID SOMETHING ILLEGAL!!!??
When criminals are being chased by the cops and they, the criminal, gets injured during the act of committing a crime, guess what, their insurance doesn’t pay for that. So… why then is my money going to help pay for the cops that investigated the crime against the gal who died because of something she did that was illegal. Because believe you me…. had she not gone out and gone drinking, she would have gone safely home and locked her door behind her and crashed on her own bed.
I know I know I know….It’s not a compassionate nor sympathetic thing to say, BUT REALLY!!! She couldn’t have been that much of a good girl, could she have been?!! I’m not blaming her for what some sick man did to her. HOWEVER, she herself is responsible in part for being in the situation to have been taken advantage of to begin with.
It’s not like she was 9 and at home asleep when some psycho broke into her home and abducted her. NOPE! She was NINETEEN! SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD HER ASS AT HER APARTMENT AND SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OUT DRINKING!!!
It’s like those kids that go drinking and joy riding or drag racing. People go: oh they got what they deserved because they were drinking and driving. WELL!??!!!
I know it’s not a popular view. And I have two daughters that are young teenagers. AND THEY’VE SEEN THE STORIES. They’ve heard me talk to them about life and what can happen. B.D. knew what chances she was taking by drinking while under the age limit, she knew that by falling asleep in a place other than what would be safe for her or her own place that HEY — THERE ARE SICK DRUNK GUYS NEAR YOUR AND YOU’RE NOT SAFE IF YOU’RE OUT AND DRUNK WITH THEM!!!!
I recently heard that 1 in 4 girls ages 10-14 have an STD. I heard radio personalities discussing this. They were asking listeners, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!!
It’s pretty simple…. NO ONE IS TEACHING ABSTINENCE anymore. AT least hardly anyone is. They talk about safe sex. They talk about protective gear. BUT PA-LEEZ!!!
If you’re not telling your kids about REALITY and CONSEQUENCES and then showing them proof, then you’re not doing your job. I was and have been a single mom. And guess what! I managed to be there for my kids. Even now that I am married, guess what! I still drop my kids off at school and I still pick them up from school. Sometimes I stay home with them. Sometimes I bring them back to work with me. Sometimes they even get to be at home by themselves for an hour or so.
But I will never hear that my 14 year old is pregnant. I will never hear that she has herpes from some stupid boy.
As I listened to the radio, I heard a mom say that she buys all the condoms for her 17 year old son. EXCUSE ME!!! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT?!!! IF HE THINKS HE IS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO BE HAVING SEX…. THEN HE CAN BUY HIS OWN DAMN CONDOMS!!! ADDITIONALLY — I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! THEN I WILL BE SURE MY KIDS NEVER GO TO YOUR HOME AND HANG OUT WITH YOUR KIDS!!!
I ran into that problem with a young gal in the same grade as my youngest. 6th. Her older sister is in the 8th grade. Also fourteen like my oldest. But guess what. Her older sister is due in June as of Superbowl Sunday 2008. The mom stated to me that my daughter’s were more than welcome to hang out with her daughters at her home anytime. Did I mention the father of the baby is 19!
HELL NO! That would be N.O.! If you can’t supervise your own daughter and do what’s in her best interest, what makes you think I’m going to allow my daughters to hang out at your place. ARE YOU F-ING NUTS!!! You must be on drugs.
I may live in a delusional state. But, that’s the nice thing about my life. I sheltered my kids within reason. They know my expectations. They know they can talk to me about friends and boys and whatever. They have goals. They each want to be veterinarians. They know that right now, their job is to finish school, high school and some college before they move out of the house. They know that at this point in their lives they have no business having sex considering the possible outcome is raising a child or getting a disease that can’t be cured. And they agree. But they also know, that if they get to be junior or seniors in high school and they just really really think they’re ready to have sex, they’re going to take all possible precautions…the pill PLUS a condom. They also know that if the boy they’re thinking about having sex with isn’t man enough to agree to these conditions, then he’s not the one.
Being 34 years old, I’m not so old that I don’t remember what it was like to be tormented at their age. But, I had one sexual partner my whole high school life…and there were other offers, but I didn’t take the first one that beg and pleaded and offered. I waited. I eventually married the guy, and not because I was pregnant. We didn’t have a child until 3 years after I graduated high school. I wasn’t raised a strict catholic. I was a latch key child. I set my own standards and boundaries. I was book smart. I was street smart. I had common sense.
I see alot of the qualities lacking in today’s youth and in their parents. I hope to guide my kids with those same senses. I know both of my kids lack some of those street senses and some times, like all people, the forget about their common sense.
So, hopefully, as I save up money for their therapy visits (heheheha), I won’t be seeing my kids as a statistic that represents teen pregnancies, or STDs. Hopefully, I won’t be in the position of those same parents that recently lost their daughter because of some sick psycho. Hopefully, my kids will know better than to drink and drive or to even get into the car if their friends or boyfriend has been drinking.
I’ve set the bar fairly high for my daughters because I know they can do it. I know that they have higher standards for themselves even. I love them and I wish the best for them. Maybe, maybe someday they won’t hate me because they didn’t get to go to a bond fire at the age of 15 or go on an overnight trip to aruba at the age of 16. They’ll see that my rules and ideas were based on love and responsibility. And the fear that just that one time, it might be me crying at a gravesite over them.
