Archive for March 30, 2008

spice of life

{ March 30, 2008 @ 10:07 pm } · { spew it }
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pepper garden - day one

I am off on a new endeaver!  I have gone off the deep end and decided to plant a PEPPER GARDEN!!!   Here’s Day One!  Wish me luck.  Mostly my gardening experience has taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE, as opposed to what I want to create this time.  You plant them, you water them and care for them, and then they wither and die!  No surprise right?

But maybe today or at the end of this all, I will have produced something that will last and continue.  ????  We’ll see.

Speaking of things that will last and continue…

While my oldest is drawn to EM: Home Edition, I am not.  I have been turned off the show.  But sometimes, like tonight, I watch it.  And then I get pissed off.  ???  explain that Lucy!

I want to know what happened after the show!  I want to know what they’ve done to the home 1 year later, 2 years later, are we on 3 years later yet?  It’s not that I am without compassion….however, I look at the people around me.  I look at my life.  I look at my great great grandparents and think…. WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US!!!  We struggle.  We strive.  We yearn.  (thank you Debbie Jellinsky!)  Don’t we deserve these things too!?

You betcha.  The difference is, is that I’m not putting my struggles out there for the world to see, ok, well wait, the blog thing, that’s totally different!  I don’t want you to build me a new home.  I don’t want you to pay off my mortgage or put my kids through college.  The new car would be great, but I’ll pass.

I mean, for the love that is all that is holy — swiss cheese; Why waste the money on just those families in that community?!!  Why not put the money to GREAT use and effect change for a whole community that benefits a whole community?  because now look, that house stands out like a sore thumb!  Now people are just going to be expecting to be able to walk through and take a tour just because they donated food at the local randy travis benefit concert so their kid could go to college.

I guess I’m a bit witchy today.  I’ll be even more bitter, or not on Sun. 4/6.  Because Sat 4/5 I plan to stand in line starting at 7:00 am wearing an adult diaper (maybe I’m joking) so that I can audtion for Deal or No Deal which is doing a casting call from 10-1 in Sparks, NV.  Keep your fingers crossed!  Maybe then I won’t be so bitter.

By the way, I could use some blinds for my place.  I currently have some homemade curtains and comforters in my windows!  Been almost 2 years.  Yup, I think it’s time I break down and make the jump to blinds.  I’ll snap a picture of that too.

Back on track — did you notice that the family of tonight’s EM:HE just happened to be extremely well dressed?  Leather stylish jacket on mom.  Couldn’t mom have gone without that and gotten some frumping but functional jacket that cost less?  Wish I had thought to take the food from my kids’ mouths so that I could have a leather jacket that was in style!

Growing Old

{ March 30, 2008 @ 6:11 pm } · { spew it }
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OMG!  It’s just about official.  I’ll get my toe tag any day!  My oldest child – ripe old age of 14, went and applied for a job today.  She has an interview on Tuesday at 4:00 pm.  Check back that day to make sure they’re not about to prep the ground for daisies.

I had to call some pals who have been in my life since before her birth so that they too may feel the minutes of their lives creep up on them and turn a few hairs gray long with mine.

I’ll never know if I’ll ever be ready for her to leave this nest.  I think I’m suffering from empty nesters syndrome already.  Does it ever get easier?  OMG!!  That means my dad is old too!!  no no no… I just refuse to believe that.

But I know that I am old.  I know that I have to trust her to try and go for what she wants.  Trust me, it’s not about the fact that I’ll be spending time taking her to and fro for this job if she gets it.  I mean, really, I already do that when she wants to go do things after school or on the weekends anyway.  This isn’t any different, except, that maybe, I can’t follow her around all day and make sure that she makes it through the day un-scathed.

Can I?  Do you think they’ll let me?  After all, it is at a family fun park.  Maybe I could just sit on the bench near by as I turn her 12 year old sister loose to enjoy the park and use that one as my excuse for being there.  OH GOOD GOD PEOPLE!!!  SHE COULD ACTUALLY AFFORD TO PAY FOR HER FIRST CAR IN TWO YEARS!!!

 AGH!!!!

Therapy Session – the BEFORE stage

{ March 30, 2008 @ 9:06 am } · { spew it }
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Therapy - B4 photo

Friday night – March 28, 2008

My family and I had an appointment for a GROUP THERAPY session.  It’s called:  Glass Fusing.  We found the concept/opportunity at a pottery painting place local to us.  I enjoy referring to it as therapy.

It gave us a chance to sit down together around a table w/out food doing something together but being able to let ourselves show through in our individual project.  We chattered about the day.  We chattered about the colors.  We learned several new things!

How to cut glass was one of the things.  One of the best things about it is now that we’ve taken the ‘class’, we can now do that whenever we feel like it, instead of only being limited to painting the pottery.

I feel guilty about a lot of things.  And the biggest thing is that I feel like we don’t spend ENOUGH or even a bit of time with the kids or as a family.  We have TV.  We have our rooms.  We have our books to get absorbed into.  Yada yada yada.  I have my job. etc etc etc.  So, planning to go to the studio at least one time a month, while expensive (studio fee plus cost of piece you’re going to work on for a family of four), is something that I appreciate.  We created a memory, not only in our own individual minds, but we will also be able to take our creation home.  They’ll be ready this Monday after 3:00 pm.  FANTASTIC!!

The image above happens to be mine.  The plastic grid behind the piece is NOT part of tile I added glass to.  And no, I haven’t learned how to get the whole tile on the page for you!  I love color.  I love being abstract.  It’s a concrete representation of all the jumbled things in my brain!  Sometimes I have to define things.  Other times I just let things fall where they may.

If only I could afford to do this more than one time a month.  But we’ve found other things we can do that don’t cost so much or anything at all.  There’s a marina with a dog park, and maybe we’ll take the dogs out today with our kids today.  There’s the big dog park or local museums and local flavor of things to do.

I want the quality time with my kids.  I want the memories for when I’m old and gray.  I want to be able to say, yes, I gave them everything I could PLUS time and an education of the world around us.