The Choice to be Human

Ok, not just to be Human…but to be a compassionate, loving, thoughtful and good human.

I know I’m human, but people don’t always think me as such since I will say what I mean and it may even be harsh.  I refuse to be drawn into giving all the money I have to the various different organizations when my own family is struggling to make ends meet.  Yes Yes Yes…I am on a laptop and I am at Starbucks using their WiFi.  It’s not my Laptop — it’s my daughter’s — she bought it with money she saved.  I’m only at SB’s because I’m waiting for my other daughter to get out of school today and instead of driving 180 in a day to to drop off then pick up, it’s easier to just stay in SBs, read a book, blog, Facebook, etc etc etc — you get the point…

Back to what I was saying — If you want to be miserable, think about ALL the pain and suffering in the world and all the people you cannot help just because society says you should be helping others less fortunate than you or even helping those on the same plane.

In any event, I try to be considerate of people.  I try to understand what tragedies have befallen them.  But sometimes, I’m sorry, I can’t.  I can be sorry and sadden by the loss of so many lives in one place in one event, but — no, I will not let that leave me down and blue and I will not buy the magnetic ribbon to put on my car — that ribbon doesn’t help them.  My dollar donation to get it doesn’t cover the cost of producing it either.

So what can I do?  I’m reading my Daily Scriptures this morning — and that’s why this comes to mind today.

ROMANS  12:15  (pick any version you want to)  basically says:

Rejoice with people who rejoice; weep with people who weep

Apparently, Paul’s counsel is to SHOW EMPATHY.  Ok, I can do that.  But it’s tough for me, because it’s not my fault that someone went and did so much dope that they lost the baby they were carrying inside their womb.  It’s not my fault that a mom was so messed up being a prostitute and doing drugs that her children were taken away from her by the state or that her now adult children want nothing to do with or for her.

I cannot show empathy for the stupid choices that others make. It makes no sense to me to do so.

However, is my lack of empathy for that situation also a judgement on that person?  I think so.  And it’s not my place to judge.

But really, if you sit besides me on the bus or in a coffee shop and complain about the turns your life has taken, when really it was the choices you made — what are you asking of me?  WHY are you telling me this?  I don’t know you.  I don’t owe you any sympathy.

But if I were clearly having a bad day, and my eyes were red and puffy and my cheeks blotchy from emotion — wouldn’t it be nice to have just one person to say:

Wow, looks like you’ve had a rough day — I hope it gets better for you.  ???

I would be inclined to say thank you to that person and be grateful that someone wished me well or a better day.

So, what can I say to that person that has been in horrible circumstance?

It must be hard living with those consequences.  I haven’t been in your shoes.  I hope that you find resolve with the choices you have made, and move forward making choices that will result in laughter, love and not regrets. God will forgive you if you ask it; then you have to move on and on days you find you can’t forgive yourself or that others hold those past choices against you, know that God doesn’t.

Maybe that’s what I should have said, instead of, I’m sorry to hear that.

Maybe saying something kinder like what I wrote above would help uplift/upbuild this person’s spirits and they may begin to make better choices.

I have the problem of ruminating on my bad choices.  I have the problem of holding a grudge against myself and am still learning to forgive myself and move on.  And like others have told me when we talk like this, they say, GOD HAS already forgiven you.  Don’t under mind or questions his ability to do so. Let the past go and move on if you have repent for it and made amends where you could.

Back to the scripture and Paul’s counsel — I’m told that ‘We need to learn to understand and even share another person’s feelings.’

And truly, I believe this a choice that I must make at every opportunity when presented with such a moment.  I may not get it right 100% of the time, but I think it’s a step in the right direction for me. I  don’t want to contribute to another’s pain and suffering.

But really, think about this…never mind, don’t get me started on Always brand maxi pads choice to send money to third world countries so girls out there don’t have to miss school!  BITE ME ALWAYS!!!  There are kids here state side that need that first — considering those girls in the tribal way of life out there had coped for thousands of years without your NON-Bio-degradeable maxi pads!!   REALLY?!!!    REALLY?  What are they going to do with the pads when they are done — it’s not like Waste Management is going to come along and take them to the local sanitation dump for them are they???!!!!!

Sorry, I know, it was a heartfelt beautiful blogging moment that I was really getting into the moment and then I had to mess it up with that, right…. like when I have the most pretty dress up, my hair and makeup are perfect, my heels are awesome and then… I put on a black zip up hooded sweatshirt!!

I’m Gay Mom! I Really Am.

This situation could have consequences both good and bad and that could progress from bad to worse.  It’s just a situation that I have been privy to.

*************

MOM:  You’re not gay.

DAUGHTER:  Yes I am.  I dating So-And-So.  I like her.

MOM:  So-and-So has dressed like a boy, acted like a boy and lived as a boy since you met HIM and were introduced to HIM.  Even get’s Called : (insert Generic Boy name here).  You even call SO & SO by a Boy’s name!!

DAUGHTER:  But that means I’m gay because He’s really a She!

MOM:  No, that means you were fooled and lied to for the past TWO years.   SO & SO will one day be a BOY and since day one of meeting SO & SO you thought that person was a BOY!  You’re NOT Gay!

*****

No other issue made of it.  One month later, Faux Boy dumped said daughter just as daughter was thinking of dumping Faux Boy because well, they both get easily bored and were fickle to begin with. They were both Sophomores.

Now, of course, it may have been as simple as I dialoged.  It may have been more complex.  However, if I were to find out the boy I was dating and had been friend with for almost 2 years happened to be a girl, well, there would be some issues for sure.  But not ones that made me think I was gay.  That’s just not fair to the poor daughter that got duped.

And it’s not fair to the mom that may have been dreaming of weddings and babies or whatever.

Is there a chapter on this in a self-help book? or a common sense parenting book?  I wonder. Maybe I don’t really care.  But it’s a situation that I watched unfold because I am privy to this family’s life and moments.

Some situations suck and there’s no changing that.  It’s how you cope with the situation that will determine how long the suffering will continue.

I’m sure I could go on about this.  But, when kids don’t understand things, some times things tend to get really screwed up.  Then our teens become depressed, suicidal, confused, convinced they know better, have self-doubt, get scared, etc etc etc.  You name it, they will step into it as sure as the fan will blow what just hit it into our direction.

Have Salt First

DISCLAIMER:  Don’t read unless you can have a sense of humor about it or realize that it’s true  – so don’t take it as a personal attack on you  (i don’t even know you and vice versa) if stuff like this happened to you, we all have moments and we all make mistakes and from them, we learn and grow and become better people, better dog parents, better human parents.  But if you see a part of yourself in here that can be changed for the better, please, make the effort and do so.

RE:  Selena Gomez & her Demon-eyed Bastard of a Mutt Dog 

Pay attention folks.  Natural Selection/Survival of the Fittest

Dog eat Dog World

Dog ate rocks.  Dog should have died. But someone saved the dog and got it medical help.  Dog can now knock up girl dog and they too can have stupid rock for brains baby mutts.  And those dumb baby mutts will also eat things they shouldn’t — such as poop, rocks, nails, plastic toy horses, anti-freeze, etc…   and again, someone will pay the money to have the doc do surgery and save the dog so that little kids everywhere don’t mourn those dumb baby mutts.

However, as a friend of mind sits here and says to me that Selena has the money to pay for the health care of that said puppy of hers then I say:  BAD OWNER!

Truly — I’m not blaming the dog for being stupid and eating ROCKS!  That’s plural of course.  Let’s blame the blame where blame is due.

SELENA GOMEZ may be a hero and responsible owner in some people’s eyes/minds but come on!

Where was Selena that the dog got away with eating more than one rock?  What, no doggy nanny?  I have no idea what kind of staff if any she has to help her with the dog specifically.

Every puppy should be taught some basics such as:

• Sit
• stay
• off
• give
• drop it
• leave it
• wait
• uh-uh
• come
• easy

It is daily work.  Every time work. Puppies must constantly be worked with.

OWNERS require even more training and work.

Owners need to learn the following:

• To watch their dogs
• to be consistent with their dogs
• to say the commands and mean it
• to not say a word so often that the dog thinks it’s part of every day vocabulary and has no true meaning like the teachers from Charlie Brown — wa wa wa wa waa
• To watch their dogs (yes I said it again)
• to know what their dog’s normal poop looks like
• to use the commands they were taught at puppy kindergarten

So…

where am I going with this?

Selena Gomez (and others like her) throw money at a solution to a problem they could have avoided in the first place.

• Had someone been keeping on eye on the dog, they would have seen the dog playing with or trying to eat the rocks.
• Had Selena and the dog and whomever was supposed to be watching the dog gone to dog training classes (which is really about teaching the owners to communicate with the dog and to teach the owners to pay attention just as much) — then the dog would have known the words LEAVE IT or DROP IT — and then when they saw the dog playing with or trying to eat the rocks — the people with voices could have said such words to the puppy and wa la—the rocks would not have had to be surgically removed from said puppy.

Are you all following along with my line of thinking?

It’s similar to teenagers that think they can just walk into the cross walk without looking either direction or waiting to see if the vehicle will stop for them.  Maybe those kids shouldn’t have children in the future.  Maybe the parents were the kind of parents that also did stupid God complex like stuff.  So, maybe that particular genetic line should not continue and it should stop as soon as the car and the body impact.  Harsh I know.

So, back to the dog…

I hope that dog is fixed.  We don’t need more stupid dogs to be adopted by more stupid people that won’t give basic attention to those 4-legged children of theirs — because dumb dogs adopted by lack-luster owners end up in the pound or in the ground.  And that’s sad.

It’s sad because a lot of what happens to domesticated dogs can be prevented.

Ate antifreeze?  Why didn’t the owner have it properly stored away from the dog…?  I hope they didn’t have kids too!

Ate rocks? Why didn’t the owner stop the dog or watch it when it was in the yard playing? Why wasn’t there a bone or ball to play with?…. Chances are the owner’s kids also ate cat poop when in the playground sandbox too!

Strangled on collar as it was caught on the fence? Why wasn’t the owner out there watching the dog? Reminds me of when toddlers manage to drown in the family pool when the mom was vacuuming.

Now, go have a margarita with that salt! ok, make mine a tequila!