I’m sorry that I had to tell you on your day that a friend had passed. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to celebrate your day with you. I’m sorry that we’ve drifted so far apart. I’m sorry that you’re not happy the way you deserve to be. I’m sorry I don’t get to see your smile everyday.
That maybe I’ve misplaced a good portion of my memory somewhere. I got a MySpace Bulletin letting me know when the funeral for an old classmate of mine would be held. I’m 34. I’ve mentioned that before, haven’t I? We grew up together. K – 12. Well, in my case, 11th. I then transferred schools, one town over. But the same circle of friends would overlap.
When I first heard, I was shocked. We’re 34ish. How, why, when? No answer. Not until yesterday. Cancer. I also can’t help but question if I should go or not. It’s been either 17 or 6 years. why the big gap? Well, I had spoken to her about 6 years ago the night before my wedding at a club/bar in my old local town. Prior to that, not since high school. But riddle me this people, how can I NOT GO? She was a part of my childhood from K-6 and then my teen years as part of the girls I didn’t click with but she was still that girl I knew and she was still nice to me, sure a bit snobby at times thanks to her new found cool friends, High school was more distant. Some of the same classes at the same times, some just passing in and out.
I can’t NOT GO!? I’m going to go. I may not want to see some of those people. and I’m paranoid that they will wonder WHAT THE H IS SHEEEE DOING HERE? But, childhood was a lifetime ago, and I need to say goodbye to that life I remember with her. In that life, she was a friend of mine.
We walked home together. According to mapquest, we lived .70 miles away from each other. We had some of the same friends. We played at the same park. We rode bikes around the same streets. Jump rope, chinese jump rope, red rover, soccer, baseball, etc etc etc. The girl I new and laughed with deserves that and more. So what if as we got older we found different interests and different friends. That doesn’t negate the simple joys of childhood that were found in tag in the field or the playground. It doesn’t erase the dislike for the same teacher. yada yada yada. I know.
I’m 34. Lots of those around me are falling thanks to car accidents, suicide, the war and cancer. Many before me died while we were in school. I said good bye to them, and I will also say goodbye to her. Time doesn’t allow for excuses when one of us has fallen.
I was wondering about at work one day, and I work with dogs and people, but mostly dogs…and I had a moment of thought…(that’s dangerous)…but I started to envision the older dogs sitting around playing shuffle board or cards… like that famous painting of dogs playing poker… but, here’s the thing. They all love poop!
They think poop is the best thing ever. The worse part of my job is should someone else not be paying close attention to a dog that loves poop, it may go over and it may ROLL in it! YUCK. And then guess who has to clean it up….
But as I was scooping up poop one day, I could HEAR the dogs saying…. MAN! THIS IS SOME GOOD SHEEET! Dig the smell! Check the color! Do you see the consistency of this stuff! I bet I could roll it and smoke it with Snoop DAWG maaaann!
I couldn’t help myself. It reminded me of the a group of high schoolers talking about weed. And I could picture those dogs around the card table again. But this time, instead of cards, they were passing a blunt or weighing out POOP!!! Can you imagine that?!
I think I’m going crazy…or I’ve smelled the fumes too much. But they look depressed when I spray bitter apple on it and THEN go get the scoops. They realize they can’t stand the smell of Bitter Apple let alone the taste of it. So, it gives me a few more seconds of time to scoop it up.
Wish I had a picture of it for ya, but I don’t. Maybe someday, I’ll be a poop dealer! and we could use it to fuel our cars! Man, I’d be as rich as the local dope man!
